juicebox

If you wondered what happened to this blogger

she now currently resides at http://shibear.blogspot.com

stop by soon! :-)

Kotak jus mungkin akan berubah kepada botol jus. Mungkin.

This is where I've poured my heart out over stupid things... namely boys and shit. Sometimes I even write about God. And people who hate me. And cats.

All I know is, documenting my thoughts and opinions matter to me and it really helped me reorganize my priorities in life. I guess it is pretty stupid to say that I've grown attached to a blogsite but... I have.

Cause... you know like how, when you're mad and you gotta bitch to someone about it? And then you realize that you go to that same person because that person seems to make you feel better and shit? And then everytime you see that person all you wanna do is like, be all like me me me and talk about you you you until that person gets tired of you and tells you you're an over-sensitive selfish bitch?

Well yeah. This very "Compose" page I'm looking at right now is the face I go to everytime I want to fuck the shit out of someone. Or when I'm absolutely bored and have nothing better to do lah.

But you see... this page never gets bored of me. Infact, she's kept everything. And everytime I look back through my old posts (which I actually do probably once a year or something), I can remember exactly how I had felt when I was posting those posts. Every single one.

From the build up of meeting Khalid for the very first time... to the time I realized he wasn't into me anymore... to how I grew immune to the feeling of craving companionship from others. So many phases. So many.

So to whoever who took the time to actually read this? Thanks. I love you, friend (simply because I do not know who you are). And take care of yourself.
 
 
 
 

Spreading the love-vibes

shira  

You've been acting awful tough lately

Marina

loves

animal-looking knitwear

And so do I. After spm, I'm going to use my basic knitting skillz and combine them with a good knitting book and make myself one of these.

There's so much of you, and so little of me. I'll even take a small piece.

Vio Pipe - Butterfingers (1997)

This blog used to be about something. Now it's just a documentary of my never ending quest to find happiness.

Grow rambut, grow!

I cannot wait any longerrr D-:

I want your hairrrrrrrrr!

I miss watching The Secret Life. Eventhough it had bad storylines, bad scriptwriting, and bad acting... it was so good! And they hired a good stylist. Especially for India Eisley's character. I mean... LOOK at all that hair!

I know during puasa, you're supposed to be hungry and all. But I just want good hair, really. I don't know why.

Shit comes in all shapes and sizes. Mine came in the form of a nineteen year old boy.

I've become a wreck and I push people away. I cry all the time, I've stopped praying, I sleep in school, and I can't find God anymore. I'm not blaming you, I'm just angry at myself because I've always thought I was braver than this.

Grizzly Bear - Cheerleader

I'm really just chicken shit.

Today, I listened to my old covers

and I couldn't help smiling

It was like saying hello to someone I once knew four years ago. I'm glad I found her. I haven't been myself lately, and hearing her small voice reminds me of how little skill but so much heart I had back then.

And it's a little embarrassing to see all the Yuna songs there. I never really realized how much I love her music.

Rawak Gempak

Hey Nick. I think you were there that night... but you were so focused on Bunny's that you forgot to look for me. It's okay. I forgive you. This time.

My hot date

We held hands and made out, while listening to Yuna and her loop pedals

And then things got fuzzy and we made out summore

And then we made pig-faces with Fahim

It was a really nice way to end my last day of freedom. Now to lock myself in my room and succumb to the corrupted education system! I'll see you all real soon with kitty photos and more random gifs :-)

Some people feel like they don't deserve love

they walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past

I've been feeling like shit, and I've given up on myself... so I'll try cheer you up instead

did it work?

go on... don't be miserable like me.

So far, I don't think I've hurt anyone... but... but, you know how in movies the bitch usually fucks up in the end and ends up working as a janitor ten years to come? It doesn't happen like that.

The truth is, how you treat other people wont affect your life the way you treat yourself. So give yourself a break and be nice. I mean, who else is? You have to be there for you.